talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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