Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
