she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
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I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
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Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize