i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
