i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
