walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize