i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
