I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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