I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
