i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
