that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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