i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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