Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
