I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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