I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
