i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
they need to just BURY HIM!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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