Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
