no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
