I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
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I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
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You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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