you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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