I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
