Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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