Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
