I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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