awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
