I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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