Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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