Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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