They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
