does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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