Texts From Last Night

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  (315): View more from New York

  i think i just puked on my phone

  (1-315): View more from New York

  we live great lives

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  (315): i think i just puked on my phone (1-315): we live great lives http://tfl.nu/f3zx
  Replies (10) Good night (2051) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head

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  (303): if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head http://tfl.nu/px1l
  Replies (10) Good night (703) Bad night (2757)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.

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  (305): It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me. http://tfl.nu/n11o
  Replies (46) Good night (2477) Bad night (8231)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.

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  (202): Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it. http://tfl.nu/4ii1
  Replies (2) Good night (3087) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm teaching my cat to play fetch

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Yep, it's a friday

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  (678): So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina (404): I'm teaching my cat to play fetch (678): Yep, it's a friday http://tfl.nu/op0w
  Replies (10) Good night (2320) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??

  (408): View more from California

  your beer goggles are on backwards.

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  (707): is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive?? (408): your beer goggles are on backwards. http://tfl.nu/ojnh
  Replies (4) Good night (4275) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.

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  (501): My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success. http://tfl.nu/qdpi
  Replies (8) Good night (728) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine

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  (763): Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine http://tfl.nu/hxv4
  Replies (6) Good night (1433) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"

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  (815): Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?" http://tfl.nu/0929
  Replies (3) Good night (1465) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  You sure know how to make a day worth living.

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  (616): i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed. (1-616): You sure know how to make a day worth living. http://tfl.nu/maop
  Replies (4) Good night (916) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.

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  (323): My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink. http://tfl.nu/wbnq
  Replies (1) Good night (641) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.

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  (506): He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep. http://tfl.nu/ars8
  Replies (1) Good night (553) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game

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  (203): I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game http://tfl.nu/evlj
  Replies (0) Good night (536) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.

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  (415): I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL. http://tfl.nu/ucaj
  Replies (3) Good night (602) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.

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  (435): It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart. http://tfl.nu/un8o
  Replies (3) Good night (584) Bad night (212)

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