and i looked up. we had an audience...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize