I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize