Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.