What did we do last night that was yellow?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize