I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
