At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I love you.
Bad choice
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