Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
