I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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