I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
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I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
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Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
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