Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
