Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
