I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
