she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Come see our sink grown plant.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
