If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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