the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
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Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
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My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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