....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think a kid would responsible me up
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
