I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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