having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You were trust falling into bushes
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
