Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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