That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
