Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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