lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
