dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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