Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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