Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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