even my farts smell like vagina
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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