Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
